No desire for sex due to depressive feelings

There are many people who go through a period where they don’t feel like making love because their libido has disappeared. This can have various causes, such as stress, uncertainty, sadness or depression. If you have been having trouble for some time that nothing comes out of your hands, you don’t feel well and you are irritable, you may be depressed. If you no longer feel like having intimacy with your partner, this can lead to relationship problems.

Lower libido can be normal

It is very normal to experience a period in your life when you feel less like having sex with your partner. You may have a lot of things on your mind and not be paying attention. For example, money worries, problems or work, being irritated or insecure are reasons to not feel like doing it for a while. It occurs more often in women than in men. Usually it is temporary and there will automatically be a period in life when the desire for sex increases again.

If it is a problem

Some people have not felt like having sex for a very long time and see it as a problem. This may cause problems with your partner. If your partner is in the mood and you are not, this can lead to unpleasant tensions and arguments. It can be a result of long-term stress. If you have been struggling for a long time with being unable to move forward, not feeling like doing anything, being irritable and having headaches, it may very well be that you are suffering from depression.


How do you know if you suffer from depression? It is a mood disorder in which you suffer from sadness for a long period of time, no energy and difficulty showing interest in others. Other common symptoms include: fatigue, sleep problems, feelings of guilt, negative self-image, concentration problems and thoughts of suicide. Some people lose weight because they lose their appetite, while others start eating extra again. Depression can have many causes, such as the loss of a loved one, relationship problems, excessive work pressure or money problems. When you feel this way, sex may be the last thing on your mind.

What should you do?

First of all, you need to do something about your stress. If you feel like you’re on an express train and you’re unhappy about it, it’s high time to do something about it. Everyone is busy these days and we sometimes cram as many things as possible into one day. Try planning a few free moments every week. And don’t tell yourself that you have to do things in that free time. Start doing something fun, even if that means doing nothing at all. Maybe you enjoy taking a bath, going for a walk or relaxing on the couch with a good book. If you can’t figure it out yourself and feel better, seek expert help for your problems.

How do you get your libido back?

When you get time for yourself again, you can relax again, which makes life a lot more pleasant. Take the time again to enjoy the beautiful things in life. In addition, ensure a healthy lifestyle that includes good nutrition, sufficient sleep and exercise. Have faith that the weather will get better, because after rain there will be sunshine again. Craving sex is a complicated chemical reaction in your brain. If you take good care of yourself, at some point this will start again as it was before.

In the relationship

Your partner may not understand why you don’t feel like having sex and may feel rejected. Try to explain your feelings, make it clear that it is not his or her fault and appreciate the support you receive. Keep talking about it with each other and try to understand each other. A relationship often becomes a routine and that is why it is good to start doing fun things together again. Maybe the solution is to go on holiday together, go out for a nice meal together every now and then or try something new in the bedroom. Be open to new things and who knows, you might feel completely reborn afterwards.

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