Viewing teenagers

Anyone who has gone through puberty knows about it. It is a fun period for many, but also an intense period. Intense in the sense that many feel extremely insecure and when the pimples appear, it only gets worse. Most teenagers are extremely sensitive to the outside world, but going through puberty is extremely important for a balanced basis.


The word puber comes from the Latin pubescene meaning to be covered in hair. This may sound strange, but it can be traced back to the growth of hair in the pubic area, on the legs and under the armpits.


It is believed that part of the abnormal behavior of teenagers is due to the change in the brain (in addition to the changing hormone levels, which of course also has to do with the brain). People’s behavior is based on a combination of predisposition, the functioning of the brain and the interaction with the people in the environment. Since not all areas of the brain develop at the same time, an imbalance can arise and that seems to explain the sometimes disruptive behavior.

Source: Giesje, Pixabay

In addition, adolescents are extremely aware of themselves and due to the changes that predominate in this age category, they are also extremely sensitive to the outside world. They pick up everything and can be a signal that is aimed at them. As if the whole world is watching them and that’s how it feels. This was explicitly highlighted in a study conducted in 2012 by a team of psychologists in the US. The age group 14 to 17 is hit the hardest when it comes to being viewed by the world.

Looking …

Adolescents are looking for their own identity and usually everything does not fall into place automatically. This can also cause disruptive behavior. When the world looks at them, that search for their own identity can come under pressure.

How do you deal with it?

There are always teenagers and if you have children, sooner or later they go through that period. Then you better give it a twist in such a way that they get through this intense phase well. What should you pay attention to:

  • Start by not setting your expectations high anyway. Whatever you do and no matter how good your intentions are, will not always prevent war with the teenager. Your norms and values, guidelines that are used in the household… these are things that must continue as usual. Keeping in mind that your child is going through puberty goes a long way. However, this does not alter the fact that you should not put everything aside to avoid that confrontation. Sticking to your guidelines and substantiating them with good arguments remains important.
  • Rules are rules, but you can talk to your child and give them the confidence that if they handle something well, it will also benefit them. Do not immediately pour everything on the teenager, but apply it in doses and depending on how he or she deals with the rules, you will celebrate or tighten the line.
  • An adolescent is not a young version of yourself. An adolescent is a new individual who wants to discover the world and shows him or her that value. Or in other words, respect that your child looks at things differently, wears different clothes, has different interests, etc. He or she has to build the aforementioned identity and that happens with them, through trial and error.
  • When it comes to the norms and values that are important, make sure you always set an example for the teenager. Otherwise you will be punished mercilessly and you will have to correct that. He or she will have to see what is important to the parent/caregiver and is conveyed to the adolescent. Getting a feeling for what that means.
  • This also means that teenagers will experiment and therefore possibly fail. That is also part of it. Don’t try to anticipate it, but let them experience it. Learning from your mistakes is still the best learning experience for many. Only be there when they ask for it.
  • As a parent/caregiver you will experience the boundaries that teenagers push and pushing hard against them usually has a counterproductive effect. Which does not alter the fact that you can give your opinion (always well-founded). Make sure you create an atmosphere so that they express what they are doing, so that you at least have an idea of it.

The ideal child does not exist

Some parents/guardians sometimes say that they have an ideal child and that is undoubtedly with the best intentions, but no child is perfect. Every child has something and that is part of it, it is not a problem. As long as it is within your field of vision, you can only try to guide a child as much as possible to that desired adulthood. Which many adults sometimes come back to later in life.