Jealousy is a normal human emotion. But we have always been taught that jealousy is primarily a negative emotion. The Bible calls it one of the 7 deadly sins, ‘Invidia’ is jealousy and envy and the Greek goddess Hera pursues all ‘supposed’ mistresses of the unfaithful Zeus. Jealousy and a relationship don’t go together? Extreme jealousy can indeed damage a relationship, but a little jealousy can also make a bond stronger.
- Envy or jealousy?
- Women are much more jealous than men
- Children and jealousy
- Jealousy and a relationship don’t go together
- Living with jealousy
Envy or jealousy?
Envy and jealousy are close to each other and are often mentioned in the same breath, yet there is a difference. With envy, someone wants to possess what another possesses or what another has achieved. Jealousy is mainly the fear of losing a relationship, for example. Jealousy and envy do occur together and that sometimes makes the difference unclear. The big difference is that jealousy has much more to do with personal relationships. Envy is envying the qualities of another. In a relationship: when a partner pays a lot of attention to a very attractive colleague at a party, someone may be jealous of that attention and envious of that colleague’s good looks. Because jealousy is much more personal, it often seems much more drastic than envy.
Women are much more jealous than men
No, women are more likely to show it. Every age has its moments of jealousy and both men and women are jealous. Studies have been done, but nothing turned out to be as difficult to investigate as this. Women seem more jealous because they express their feelings more easily and are sometimes more emotional than men. The reasons for jealousy are the same for both men and women. It is always the fear of losing someone to someone else. Men focus only on their partner, women on their rival. Hera was probably a representative of a universal truth. Both men and women are less jealous when they consider themselves attractive and successful.
Children and jealousy
The fight for attention, but especially the fear of losing the unconditional love of a parent, starts at an early age. Children in a family want attention, preferably always, without the intervention of a brother or sister. Many parents think that they only function as referees. Unfortunately, it is completely normal. Children need to learn to deal with jealousy and they can do this better without parental intervention. Parents should only intervene when a real fight breaks out. This wait-and-see attitude of parents has another advantage: you do not get involved in the argument. It is quite easy to take sides in the heat of battle.
Source: Xusenru, Pixabay
Jealousy and a relationship don’t go together
Jealousy can certainly damage a relationship, but it can also make it stronger. Jealousy is the fear of losing someone. When jealousy surfaces every now and then, it can strengthen a relationship. Partners learn that a relationship is important, also for the other person. When a partner is jealous, this also means that he or she finds the relationship important. Moreover, it is mainly the alleged emotional infidelity that causes the strongest emotions to erupt. But jealousy can certainly damage a relationship. When jealousy is greatly inflated and constantly unfounded. Jealousy that is unreasonable and results in public accusations and sometimes physical violence is not compatible with a relationship.
Living with jealousy
You don’t just put jealousy aside. Partly because jealousy comes from insecurity, insecurity about a relationship or about a bond. A little jealousy is nice sometimes. When you can’t control your jealousy? Stay realistic and first investigate whether there is actually reason for jealousy and what is wrong with a good conversation? In addition, jealousy is often related to a lack of self-respect and you have to work on that yourself.
When your partner is jealous? Is there reason for jealousy? When you are sure that there is absolutely no basis for jealousy, a conversation can clarify a lot. You can also try to improve your partner’s self-confidence. In a relationship, one person is simply more confident than the other.