What is cybersex and what are the risks?

Cybersex, also called virtual sex, is becoming increasingly common due to the increasing number of internet users. The threshold for searching for porn is quite low because one can watch completely anonymously. Sexual fantasies are regularly exchanged in a chat box, sometimes without and sometimes with a webcam. But what are the risks? And is it cheating or not? How do you protect children against cybersex?


Cybersex is also called virtual sex . The simplest form of cybersex is viewing erotic images or videos on the Internet. For people who want to go a step further, there is the option to exchange sexual fantasies via a chat program or special chat rooms, for example. This usually happens anonymously, so feelings of shame can be put aside quite easily. In this way, people share their fantasy with someone or virtually imitate a lovemaking session together. This involves telling you what actions the person does to themselves or asking you to do something to yourself.

With cybersex you can go one step further. A webcam is also used to be able to see each other. Here too, it is often accompanied by sexual acts that people perform on themselves while the other person watches. People who choose a webcam have usually had virtual contact before and are no longer completely strangers to each other.

Cybersex is not always free. For a fee, women, and sometimes men too, take off their clothes and perform actions that are requested of them. These are the so-called webcam girls/boys. In most cases, payment must be made in order to view and/or download certain films, often by means of a credit card.


  • It can be addictive, people can get quite a kick out of it and increasingly want to experience that kick again.
  • Relationship problems can arise if the partner experiences it as cheating .
  • Not everyone can be trusted, photos and videos can be used for other purposes.
  • On the internet the contacts are short and intense, in everyday life they are not. In some cases this can lead to a social problem.
  • If there are “payment sites” then financial problems may arise.


  • No risks of pregnancy or venereal diseases.
  • With a partner who lives far away, some form of sex is still possible.
  • Making contact is very easy.
  • Anonymity avoids feelings of shame.

Is cybersex cheating?

Cybersex can be done in different ways and it therefore depends a bit on how far you go. Viewing erotic photos or occasionally visiting a porn site out of curiosity is relatively harmless. If one views porn sites very often, this can be very hurtful for the partner. Especially if behavioral changes occur among internet visitors. Chatting becomes a different story because it usually doesn’t stop at just a little innocent flirting. People share sexual fantasies with each other, which trigger certain feelings to which the body can react quite intensely. Sometimes even to an orgasmic climax. And if all this is also recorded by a webcam

It is difficult to say whether cybersex is cheating. Can you speak of cheating if there has been no physical contact? Many people have very different opinions about this. Every relationship is different and what one person has no problem with may be a major problem for another. Discuss things as much as possible and try to find a solution together. Because secrets from each other do not keep a relationship healthy for long.

Still cybersex?

  • Stay anonymous, unless you already know each other then it doesn’t matter.
  • Control yourself a bit and don’t make a habit of it.
  • Don’t do things you don’t support, don’t let yourself be persuaded.

Cybersex and children

It is very difficult to protect children from the dangers of the internet , but try to keep an eye on them every now and then. Chat programs can sometimes go wrong when an adult pretends to be a minor. They cunningly manipulate the children and persuade them to use a webcam, for example. With all its consequences. Viewing pornographic images is also not suitable for young internet users.

A few simple things you can do:

  • Educate them about the dangers but don’t scare them.
  • Place the computer in an area where you can keep an eye on your children.
  • Leave a webcam halfway for a while.
  • Is a child behaving suspiciously or secretly? Let’s take a look at the screen!
  • Are you away from home a lot and would you rather not have them in front of the PC? Get a password.

It can also be a lot of fun

Cybersex can also be a lot of fun. Even if you are in a relationship, you can browse the internet together to get ideas. Or watch videos. Chatting together, to get to know each other better in terms of sex, is also an option. Telling each other fantasies is always a bit difficult, but if you turn it into a game it can be very exciting.